Learning to Fall
by typingpen
Summary: Alex and Olivia have been dating for nearly two month. Things are going smoothly until Olivia discovers that Alex has a daughter. This is a story about love, hurt, comfort, and finally becoming a family. Season 3. AU. Disclaimer: If you have seen them on the show, they are not mine. If you've never heard of them, they are characters of my own imagination.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia exited the elevator, turned left, and walked three doors down. She stared at "7G," as she got up the nerve to knock on the door. She was supposed to be meeting Alex at the park for a jog in half an hour, and then they were going to grab brunch at this hole in the wall restaurant the blonde had been raving about. While walking to the park, Olivia decided she would surprise Alex by swinging by to pick her up. When she made this decision, Olivia felt confident the blonde would be excited to see her, but now she found herself anxious. She raised her hand to knock on the door, but put it back down. When Olivia had pressed the button to be buzzed up, the door opened immediately. Alex never came on the intercom. The two ladies were supposed to be meeting at the park, so it was highly unlikely that the attorney was expecting her budding love interest to show up early… at her apartment. Olivia's mind began to go into overdrive. Maybe Alex was expecting someone else. Who would Alex be expecting at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning? She was just about to turn around and leave, when a woman who lived in "7H" opened the door wearing a dark cream pea coat and blood red heals; her hair was pulled into a curled up do, and her makeup was flawless accenting the woman's high cheek bones. She was startled by Olivia's presence, and the brunette had to act quickly to keep this woman from reacting to the strange woman standing in her hall way. Olivia knocked on the door.

The door flew open. "Jason, it took you forever to get up the stairs! Your daughter…" Alex stopped stunned to see the detective standing in her door way. Both women looked at each other. The world stopped spinning. All Olivia heard was "Jason" and "your daughter." Feeling as if the floor had been pulled out from under her, the brunette turned quickly on her heels headed for the stair way. There was no way she would be able to wait for the elevator. Feeling humiliated and hurt, Olivia tried to keep the tears from falling, realizing how stupid she had been to assume that Alex actually wanted anything other than friendship. The attorney had been flirting with Olivia, she was sure of it. And Alex had been the one to push to get together for more than drinks with the squad after a case.

"Mommy, who is that?" A blonde blue eyed little girl appeared behind Alex looking out into the hall way.

"Amelia, go back inside." Alex said as she closed the door stepping into the hall way intent on catching the detective. "Olivia, wait!"

The detective whipped back around glaring at the attorney, who stopped in her tracks.

"Olivia, please come in, and let me explain."

"Let you explain? Why should I let you explain?" Her voice was rising and she didn't care. She was hurt, and she wanted to make sure Alex knew it. "Alex we have been working together for over a year, we have been friends for a while now, and we have been doing whatever it is we are doing for almost two months. Never once in any of that time did you ever think to mention that you had a kid? Didn't you trust us? Why would you keep something that big from us?" _from me? _The older woman was burning a hole through Alex's soul. It was starting to physically hurt the woman to look at the brunette.

"No, it's not that. It's just…"

"Just?" Olivia responded angrily when Alex didn't finish her sentence. "You know what, Alex forget it. I'm glad I came here, because now I know the truth." Finally breaking her intense stare Olivia turned once again to leave. She need to get out of there. Reflexively, Alex reach out to grab the detective's arm, and immediately regretted doing so as Olivia had her pinned against the wall with her arm twisted behind her back so quickly Alex didn't even register it happening. At that precise moment, a tall blond man exited the elevator and turned to witness the scene.

"What the hell? Get off of her!" He yelled causing three doors to open, including the 7G.

"Daddy? Mommy?" Amelia looked as if she was going to cry, and a split second later she burst into full on sobbing. "Mommy! Mommy!"

Olivia let go of Alex as if she had been holding hot coals. She backed away from the attorney feeling as if she was going to be sick. She never wanted to hurt Alex, and she could believe that she had attacked the woman in front of her daughter. Amelia ran to Alex jumping in her arms, while the man Olivia presumed to be Jason ushered them both inside. The two other residents that had come out still stood with their doors open watching and waiting for an indication of their next move. One man wearing boxers and a wife beater held a phone in his hand poised to call security if he needed to. Olivia was glued to the spot trying to understand what was happening in front of her.

Alex came out of the apartment again and addressed the audience in the hall way, "We're fine. You all can go back to your own business. Olivia…" Olivia shook her head and looked at Alex. Both women looked as if they were going to cry. "Alex, I…"

"Stop, please come inside. We can talk there."

Olivia shook her head no. "I should just"

"No, I don't want you to go. I want you to come inside. I want to explain everything to you." Still having not moved, Olivia turned looked over her head at the stair well. "Please, Olivia."

As much as she wanted to leave and get as far away from Alex as possible, she wanted to stay. She had so many questions that she wanted answers to, and the only way she was going to get those answers was if she stayed and talked to the blonde.

"Ok." Olivia followed Alex into her apartment, and into the living room.

"Just take a seat on the couch, and give me a minute ok?"

"Alex, I'm sorry."

Alex nodded, "We'll talk in a few minutes. I need to check on my daughter."

Olivia looked down at the ground, and Alex took that to mean that the brunette would not walk out on her. Alex heading down the narrow hallway and disappeared.

Alex opened the first door on the right, finding her daughter in the arms of her father, not crying any more but the child was still visibly shaken from what she had witnessed. Upon hearing Alex close the door, the little girl crawled out of her father's lap and walked over to her mother, who quickly gathered her in her arms before sitting down in the glider rocker in the corner of the room. Playing with Amelia's long silkly hair, Alex took a deep breath before she looked at the man in the room. She knew she was about to be grilled, but she also knew that Jason would not want to upset Amelia any more that she already was.

"Alex, who is that woman, and why in the world did she have you pinned against the wall?" His voice was calm, which for some reason surprised Alex. She knew that he was a deeply compassionate man who was very rational; except, when it came to his daughter. But she guessed that since Amelia had clearly not been privy to the entire incident, he could channel his amazing strength.

"That is one of the detectives I work with. Her name is Olivia Benson."

He just stared at her. "Ok, are you going to answer my other question?"

"We have been seeing each other for over a month, and I have yet to tell her about you or Amelia. I think she was feeling confused and hurt. When she tried to leave, I grabbed her elbow, and well, she reacted, as you saw."

"Alex, is she like that all the time?"

"What? No! Jason, she is one of the most genuine, supportive, caring people I know. She has never done anything like that before."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Ok well, Amelia, honey, you have to be at practice in about 45 minutes, and we are already running behind. Considering what just happened, now is probably not the best time for introductions. So I think it would be best if she waited in the Kitchen, while Amelia and I get ready to go." He left no room for discussion, and Alex knew arguing with him would get her nowhere right now. So she kissed the top of her daughter head pulling her close.

"Hey Amy G, I'm going to let you and Daddy get your things together ok."

"Mommy, I don't want that lady to hurt you."

"Hey, baby, you don't have to worry about that ok? Remember, how I told you that the people mommy works with protect mommies and their kids from bad people who hurt them?"

"Yes."

"Well that means that they aren't going to hurt mommy either."

"But mommy, she was hurting you!"

"No, Amy G, she wasn't. Baby girl, I need you to trust mommy, okay? Will you do that for me?"

The little girl gazed into blue eyes before she nodded. "Okay."

"Okay, big hug…" the girl wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck who snaked around the child's waist "big kiss" the little girl turned to kiss her mother's lips before she let go. "Okay. I love you Amy G."

"I love you more." The little girl said with that crooked smiled she got from her daddy's genes.

"No, I love you more."

"Well, I love you the most!"

"I love you the most times ten!"

"I love you the mostest!"

"No I love you the mostest!"

"I love you the mostest times infinity!"

Alex grabbed the little girl and began to tickle her as the room filled with giggles. Jason watched on as his daughter played with her mother and smiled. That sound make his whole world turn; in fact, he lived for that sound. "Ok June bug, it's time to get ready."

"Ok daddy" She said between giggles. "Mommy, let me… go"

"Magic words?" Alex asked as she continued to tickle her daughter.

"Pleeeeeeeeaseeee?"

Alex stopped tickling Amelia as she slid off her lap to gather her things. Alex stood up to exit the room, "Just give me 2 minutes before you head out. Ok?" Jason nodded, and Alex exited the room.

She shut the door behind her and took a deep breathe praying that Olivia hadn't left the apartment. She walked back down the hall way to find the brunette not where she left her. For a split second she thought she was going to cry, until she noticed that the detective now stood looking out of the window. Alex took a second to admire how beautiful Olivia really was, and could help the good feeling she had when looking at the stunning police officer.

"Hey" she said just loud enough for Olivia to hear her.

Olivia turned around to face the blonde her arms folded across her body, trying to shield herself physically from any kind of contact the attorney might try and initiate. Alex could tell that the detective did not want to be touched or comforted.

"Can we go into the kitchen please?"

"Oh… uh yeah." Olivia followed Alex into the kitchen. The attorney leaned up against the counter while Olivia stood awkwardly next to the island. Neither woman knew what to do or say, and both were locked in their own heads. Alex heard her daughter's door open and that high pitch giggle come through the archway. She stepped into the entry way separating kitchen and living room to say good bye as her daughter left with her father.

Amelia stopped to hug her mother wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. "I love you mommy; I'll miss you; I can't wait to see you on Friday night; don't watch _Monk_ without me; ok?" Alex smiled down at the beautiful little girl. "Ok Amy G, be good and work hard."

The little girl let go and followed her father to the door. As Jason opened the door to leave he looked back at Alex, "Take care, see you on Friday."

"Bye Jason." Alex said as the pair left her apartment. He shut the door, and Alex went to lock it behind him needing a few seconds before she faced Olivia for what was sure to be one of the hardest conversations she would ever have.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex turned back around to see Olivia standing in the archway, blocking her view of the kitchen. The detective looked exhausted and sad. Alex walked towards her and enveloped a startled Olivia in a hug. Initially Olivia tried to pull away, but when she realized that Alex was not going to let go, she relaxed into the embrace and eventually put her arms around the blonde. Both women let out the breath they were holding, and as they did so the apartment filled with tension.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I don't…"

"Olivia, stop. I'm fine. See?" She pulled away from the brunette, as she showed that both of her arms remained at fully functioning. She then reach for the detective's hand and lead her to the couch in the living room. Alex sat down on the middle cushion indicating that Olivia should do the same. The detective remained standing and looked at Alex before looking to the arm chair sitting a few feet behind her.

"Liv, please sit here with me."

Deciding that she didn't want to protest, Olivia took a seat on the couch.

"Alex, I don't really know where to start. I know we were supposed to meet at the park, but I wanted to surprise you. It's just been so hard lately with everything going on, and we finally got on the same page, and now I don't know what we are." Olivia started to ramble because the silence was making her uncomfortable.

"What do you mean? Do you not want to date me?"

"I don't know Alex. I mean maybe I should just focus on myself, and you have been lying to me. Not the little kind of lying either. The big kind of I have a kid, but I'm not telling you about her lying."

"Olivia, I know you are dealing with some things especially after the shooting, but you have been cleared by IAB. It was a good shot. Why else do you need to be focusing on you?"

"Just because shooting Plummer was ruled the right thing to do, whatever that means, doesn't mean I should have shot him. And Alex, I don't want to talk about this with you. You didn't trust me when I told you he was following me. Maybe if you had, I wouldn't have had to shoot him." Olivia was getting frustrated. Yes, she had shot Plummer and hell the scene still plagued her nightmares, but it only happened a month ago. And now Alex was throwing it in her face to avoid talking about her kid, mind you. Feeling restless and overwhelmed, Olivia began to look around the apartment. She had been her many times before, but it was only as she was looking around that she realized Alex didn't have any pictures of her daughter displayed, at least not in the living room. And then she realized that she had never been seen any other part of the attorney's apartment. Every time the two got together for a night in they would stay at Olivia's apartment. Nothing about their relationship would have indicated to the detective that she would be welcome in the blonde's apartment, and suddenly Olivia felt as if she needed to get out of there.

"You know what Alex, maybe we shouldn't be together. It is very clear that you can't trust me."

"No, Olivia. I do trust you, it's just that…" She interrupted the brunette and got up of the couch to sit on the coffee table directly across from her lover. "You're right. I should have trusted you when you told me that Plummer was following you. You're right that if I had trusted you, you wouldn't have been under investigation for shooting him. I was trying to do my job, and I think part of me was trying to make sure that no one suspected that we were anything other than good friends, and I'm sorry." Alex reached out to take the beautiful woman's hands. "I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you."

Olivia looked into Alex's eyes surprised to find unshed tears, which caused her own pain to spill down her cheeks. She looked away from the blonde pulling her hands out of the other woman's grasp to fold her arms across her chest. And as Alex watched the detective physically retreat away from her, she knew that she had avoiding tell her about Amelia as long as she could.

"My daughter's name is Amelia Grace; she is 5 years old, and the best mistake I've ever made." At that Olivia looked back up, Alex got up from the table and walked over to the window. She stared over the city for what felt like an eternity for both women. She turned back around to see that Olivia had not moved an inch, she still sat with her arms folded across her body, feet both flat on the floor back pressed into the corner of the couch searching for some kind of physical support to hear what Alex was telling her. Alex walked back across the room and sat down on the opposite in of the couch. Since Olivia had not responded she decided to tell her the whole story.

"The day of my last law school final several of us went out to dinner to celebrate. I went home and went to bed with Jason. Neither of us found the other to be particularly attractive, but we both wanted the release. We had become good friends while in school, and it was a safe opportunity for both of us. I was on the pill and we used a condom, but I guess nothing is 100% effective, and 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell Jason, because I was going to get an abortion. I made an appointment, and even made it into the clinic. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I started to think about what I was doing and why I was doing it. And I started to realize that even though this wasn't exactly how I saw my life turning out, that I was using abortion as birth control, and my mother's Christian voice was suddenly in my head. Guilt consumed me so quickly that I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. So I left. I called Jason; he was shocked to hear from me. I asked him to meet me for coffee. When he asked why I wasn't drinking coffee, I told him that I was pregnant with his child. He sat there silent for nearly 15 minutes, before he finally asked me what I needed. For about 3 months we entertained the idea of living together and trying to raise our baby as a married couple. But after one weekend spent in the same apartment, we wanted to kill each other. So we decided that the best thing we could do for our child was to make sure we found someone to love us and care about us, to show this little person what happiness could look like. He was there when she was born; he was there for everything. After I went home she stayed with me, because I wanted to breast feed, and Jason came over all the time, but only ever stayed in the guest bedroom. When she turned 18 months, she started switching houses, and that has been our arrangement ever since. We do have legal papers spelling out the particulars, because we are both lawyers and could do it on our own. But the reason I never told the squad… told you about Amy G is because I was scared. When I started working SVU and realized the kind of cases I would be prosecuting, I knew I needed to protect my baby from anyone ever hurting her like that. I made a decision that I wouldn't tell anyone about her. I concluded that if no one at the D.A.'s office and no one in the squad knew about her, then no one could hurt her. And then it just became easy to not talk about her at work or when we were out. So, I just don't talk about her."

Alex stopped and looked at Olivia. Her body posture had relaxed and she no longer looked angry. The blonde let out a deep breathe, and just waited for Olivia to respond, while the brunette no longer look like she was going to explode, she still looked hurt, and Alex didn't know what else her new girlfriend wanted to know.

"Why didn't you tell me about her after we started dating?"

"At first I thought that I might just be a fling for you, a way for you to release."

"Alex, I don't think of…"

"I know. I know you don't, but I wasn't going to tell you about the most important thing in my life until I knew we were going to last more than a couple of quick fucks."

The two women fell silent again, and it became obvious that there might be more they needed to talk about.  
"And do you still think that? Because you still haven't told me about her. Hell, if I hadn't shown up unexpectedly, I still wouldn't know about her."

"No, I don't still think that." Alex responded trying to keep the calm in her voice; she really wasn't interested in fighting with the detective any more, even if she felt frustrated by the situation they found themselves in. "You were supposed to come over the night after I accused you of being too drunk during the Plummer case. I was going to invite you here and make dinner so that I could tell you about my daughter. Then with everything falling apart, we didn't see each other. I started doubting our relationship, and I was relieved that you didn't know. After dinner on Thursday, and us making plans to run today. I felt like we might finally be back on track. I was going to ask you to come over after breakfast, and since you were reluctant to leave your own bed when you were called out on Friday morning, I knew you would say yes."

"You expect me to believe that you were going to tell me today?"

"You can believe whatever you want to believe Olivia." Her tone snappy, as she was beginning to lose her composure.

The detective knew she had offended the blonde, but it was quite a stretch for her to believe that Alex was going to tell her today. Especially after she already found out.

"Ok." Olivia said just above a whisper. She stood up from the couch, she needed to run off some of this energy and frustration. "I am going to go to the park. Would you like to join me?"

The blonde woman looked at Olivia shocked at what she had just said, and tears quickly started rolling down her cheeks. Olivia sank down next to her and pulled her into a strong embrace. Alex held onto the brunette as if her life depended on it, and they both sat there waiting for the tension to drain. Once the silence became comfortable, Olivia pulled away, and captured the blonde's hands in her own.

"I'm not saying that I'm not hurt Alex. I am, and I'm still upset, but I also know that just after our relationship started it has taken one major punch after another. So right now, I want to run, and we were supposed to run together. I see no reason to throw away our plans simply because we came to another stumbling block."

Alex nodded and both women got up from the couch. The blonde went to grab a water bottle from the kitchen. When she returned the pair walked out of the apartment not touching, but close enough to feel the comfort. As Alex was locking the door, the woman in the cream colored coat exited the elevator and stared at Alex and Olivia who just stared back. As the two were getting on the elevator Olivia turned to blonde smiling she joked, "And you have been raving about this restaurant you are dying to take me to." Alex laughed and pecked the detective on the lips as the elevator doors closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own The Brearley School, but it is a real place in NYC.**

Alex and Olivia ran for almost an hour, when they decided, after Alex had beat Olivia in their last race, that it was time to eat. The walked from the park three blocks north to the restaurant, Ma's Without Pa. When they entered the quaint little café Alex lead Olivia to the counter to take a seat.

A waitress came out from the kitchen with her hair pulled back into a bun wearing a black apron over her white shirt. "Hey Alex! Long time no see, like almost two months!"

"I know! Things have just been so busy lately."

"Well, I'm glad to see you back! Where is Doodle today?"

"She is with her dad, but this is my girlfriend Olivia." Alex said as she motioned to the detective sitting next to her.

"Hi Olivia. I'm Tracy."

Olivia extended her hand to greet the woman, "Nice to meet you."

"So what will you having today?"

"Can we get a menu to look over?" Alex asked.

"Sure!" Tracy reached below the counter and pulled out a laminated piece of paper to hand to Alex. "Just holler when you are ready to order."

"Thanks, Tracy."

Alex held the menu so that the detective could see her options. "Alex, how often to you come here?"

"This is my daughter's favorite place to eat, so usually a couple times a month; whenever we eat out, she chooses here."

Olivia nodded before she started looking and the breakfast choices. After thoroughly studying the menu she looked up to fine Alex staring at her. "What?"

Alex blushed before looking back at the menu, "Sorry. Do you know what you want?"

Olivia smiled at the red tint now creeping up the attorney's neck, "Yeah, I'm going to try the croissant French toast with a glass of milk and a coffee."

"Don't get the coffee it's awful, but they do make a really good mocha latte."

"How can the coffee be bad and a latte be good?"

"You know, I don't know. I just know from experience that coffee is not the way to go here." She giggled as she noticed Olivia's puzzled expression. "Trust me."

"Ok, I guess I will try the latte."

"Hey Tracy, we're ready!" Alex called to the waitress.

"Great! What can I get you?"

Alex nodded to Olivia who pointed to the menu, "I'll have the croissant French toast and a glass of milk."

Tracy wrote down her order, "Of course, would you like eggs?"

"Yes, over easy please."

"No problem."

"Can I also get a mocha latte while we wait?"

"Yes, I can bring that right out. Alex?"

"I would like the eggs benedict with sausage and orange juice."

"Ok. Latte?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Ok I will have that out shortly. Thank you ladies."

"Thank you." Alex replied.

The two women sat in silence locked in their own heads. Olivia was replaying what happen this morning trying to figure out how she felt about the situation. Alex had lied to her, but she really liked dating the blonde and wasn't sure she wanted to give up their relationship over this. She still didn't understand how Alex would be able to keep the fact that she had a kid a secret from a bunch of detectives and attorneys. And on that note, how did Olivia miss something that big. Judging from the counselor's living room, it is unlikely that there are any pictures of Amy in her office. But then surely Alex would have to pick her up from school or other activities. She guessed that Alex schedule was probably a little more predictable than Olivia's. In fact Olivia couldn't remember a time when the squad had called the attorney out of her home late at night. Olivia looked back up and caught the blonde staring at her for the second time that morning. The attorney turned bright red this time even before Olivia could ask her anything. The detective laughed at her companion's embarrassment, before reaching over and putting her hand on the fair skinned woman's thigh.

"What were you thinking about?" Olivia asked

"Just how much I like being with you."

"Is that it?"

"Yes…" she said as she once again diverted her eyes from the brown orbs that were trying to glance inside her soul.

"Tell me about her."

"She five, and sassy. She is really close to my mom and has always been a daddy's girl. She been taking dance classes for two years, and when she started school this year she started taking figure skating lessons. She loves to read, always has. When she was just under a year she would get a hold of the newspaper and stare at it like it was telling her everything she ever needed to know. As she got older she would sit beside me at the breakfast table and hold the newspaper after I was done. She started reading a little bit last year, and right now she is obsessed with Junie B. Jones. She can't quite read them by herself, but she gets closer every night. She likes strawberries and raspberries and chocolate. At night at about 4 am she still comes and gets in bed with me, and I can't figure out why or how to make her stay in her own bed. Jason says she doesn't do that with him. But I'm not sure that I really want her to stop. I kind of like knowing that she needs me. She goes to the Brearley School, and if we have our way she will graduate from there. She wants to be president when she grows up, and a doctor, and a waitress."

Just then Tracy comes out of the kitchen with two lattes, "Talking about me are ya?" She ask the two women.

Alex smiled, "No, just telling her about everything that Amy wants to be when she grows up."

"She wants to be a waitress?" Tracy asked, a little shocked.

"Yeah. It's a relatively new development, like two days ago."

All three women laughed before Tracy went to take the orders of a family who had come in and sat in a back booth.

"The Brearley School? That's not cheap, Alex."

"No, no it's not, but they meet all need based aid. And Jason comes from a much more promenade background than myself."

Olivia nodded before she sipped on her drank. "You were right, Alex! This is pretty good." She said before taking another drink.

Alex smiled, "Olivia…"

"Hmmm?"

"You were right; I should have told you about my daughter when we started dating."

"Alex, I didn't give you a chance to. It's ok. But while we're on the subject do you have any other big secrets you need to tell me?"

"I love you."

Olivia froze when Alex said that. She slowly put her drink down and turned to face the attorney. "You love me?"

Alex nodded keeping eye contact with the brunette. Olivia didn't know how to respond. It was the first time Alex had said the l word; hell, it had been a long time since Olivia had heard anyone say it. And how did she feel about the blonde. She enjoyed what they had, but was it love? And if it is, was she ready for that kind of step in their relationship?

"You don't have to say it back, we can just forget it happened." Alex said as she retreated into herself closing off her body language from the detective. She felt as if the floor had dropped out from under her. Maybe she misread everything that had been happening between the two of them. "I'm sorry," she whispered so quietly, that Olivia barely heard her.

The detective took the blond woman's hands in her own, and forced her to face her. "Alex, babe…" Alex smiled slightly at the term of endearment. "Don't be sorry, I just wasn't expecting you to say that."

Right then Tracy showed up again with their food; the woman had impeccable timing. "Ok, I have French toast, eggs over easy for you," she placed a plate full of food in front of Olivia, "and for you Alex, I have eggs benedict. I will be right back with your milk and orange juice."

As Tracy went into the kitchen once again, Olivia released Alex's hands as she turned back towards the counter. Both women sat in silence as they beginning eating their meal. Alex felt subconscious and really didn't know what to say or do. She starting picking at her food, suddenly not hungry for anything. Surely, she just screwed up her relationship with Olivia. And the thing about that was that she did love her. She wanted to be with Olivia, and she didn't know if that meant they would be together forever, but she knew it meant they had a fighting chance. At least they would, if Olivia would give them a fighting chance.

Olivia was feeling overwhelmed and startled by Alex's admission, and in response she just pushed her food around on her plate, not sure how to respond to her companion's declaration.

Tracy walked up to the two women, "What? Our food no good today?" She said as she put their drinks in front of them.

Alex smiled shyly, trying to keep the tears from gathering in her blue eyes. "No, it's perfect like always, but can we go ahead and get a couple of to go boxes. I guess we weren't as hungry as we thought we were."

"Sure," Tracy replied eyeing her costumers suspiciously.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Alex asked, when Tracy retreated into the kitchen.

"Maybe we should start over tomorrow."

"What?" shock and hurt washed over the blonde's face as she put down her silver wear and turned to completely face the detective.

"Alex, this day has not gone well; at all."

"But that doesn't mean we need to forget about the whole day. We were supposed to spend the day together Liv. It was your idea."

"I know Alex, but that was before I knew you had a kid and you made this grand declaration in public."

Alex turned away from her companion, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay. She finally came clean, and now Olivia was running away. She didn't really have a choice in telling the detective about Amelia when she showed up at her apartment unannounced, but she was planning on telling the brunette. And it was true that she didn't want her professional world to know that she was a mother for fear of retaliation from the people she prosecutes and the powers that be. But maybe Olivia was right; she should have told the brunette about Amy much sooner. But part of her was scared that the detective would leave her because she had a kid, and now it was coming true.

Tracy sat the two boxes between the women noticing that something was not right between them, but deciding that it was not her business, she hurried to check on the family sitting in the booth.

"Alex…"

"Yeah?" She asked without looking at the older woman. She knew that the tears would fall as soon as she saw the detective.

"Look at me… please."

"No, look Olivia its fine. I'm fine. We can go our separate ways today."

"Alex…" The brunette felt her eyes well and knew that the tears wouldn't pool for much longer before the started trailing down her face. She felt horrible. She didn't want to hurt the blonde; in fact knowing that Alex was hurting was piercing her heart. And in that moment she did something that shocked both women. She pulled Alex to her and pressed her lips firmly against the blondes. She ran her tongue along her lover's bottom lip and moan when Alex granted her access. She could feel her own tears falling and it wasn't long before she felt the attorney shaking from crying. She broke the kiss and crushed Alex in a hug. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry; please forgive me," she whispered as she continued to press soft kisses to the Attorney's temple.

Tracy brought the check leaving it in front of two lovers still embraced in a hug. Alex pulled away to get her card out, but Olivia beat her to the bill, and put cash on the counter covering both meals.

"Liv,"

"Don't. Let's just go ok?" She asked trying to reign in her own emotions; she knew if they stayed much longer it was likely that both of them would be a crying mess, and it didn't seem like Ma's Without Pa was the place to have a meltdown.

Alex nodded getting up from the counter and grabbing the to go boxes, while Tracy came back out. "You two come back now."

"Oh, I plan to." Olivia said to the spunky waitress, while Alex broke into a smile and took the detective's hand in her own. As they walked out of the restaurant Olivia squeezed the hand in her own.

"Share a taxi?" The detective asked.

"Olivia, I can't do this push pull thing. I mean if you need space, I can give you space. But I'm allowed to be upset about it."

"Alex, I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry. I know you're sorry."

"Ok…. What does that mean for us?"

"I don't know Olivia. What do you want it to mean for us?"

"I want to start this whole day over."

"Well we can't." Alex snapped her sadness turning into frustration and flying towards anger.

"Alex…" Olivia said in an attempt to calm the blonde. "Alex, I don't want to hurt you. I like being with you too. I want to be with you. I really want to be with you. But today, well today just sucked, and it isn't all your fault so please don't think that."

The attorney was on the brink of crying again, as she nodded in response to what she was being told.

Olivia placed her hands on the blue eyed woman's shoulders and rubbed her arms. "How about we go home to our own apartments now. And tomorrow we can go running in the morning and then you can come over and I will make you brunch. Then we can spend the day hanging out, watching movies, talking, being silly, just being together. Will you do that with me?"

The tears were falling down Alex's cheeks again, "Ok, but I'm going to miss you tonight."

Olivia smiled, "I'm going to miss you too." And she placed a chaste kiss on the attorney's mouth.

**Thought about splitting this chapter in two, but couldn't find a good stopping place. Stay tuned for another chapter tonight!**


	4. Chapter 4

It has been one week and two days since Alex had seen her detective, and she was starting to get the feeling that the brunette was purposely avoiding her. The two women had gotten together on Sunday; the take made a complete 180 from the day before. They made breakfast together after a less intense run in the park. After breakfast was clean, the two just enjoyed spending time together. Eventually, they ordered Thai food before retiring to the bedroom before 10 p.m. for another type of workout. Unfortunately, their night together was cut short when Olivia was called out about 3 a.m. Monday morning. Neither woman brought up the l word the entire time they were together. And this fact weighed heavily on Alex's mind as she sent Olivia another instant message. The ones she sent earlier in the afternoon went unanswered, but Alex could tell that Olivia was back at her computer, so she opted to try again.. The detective had cancelled lunch together, much to Alex's dismay, and she had yet to reach out to the blonde to offer a rain check.

_I really miss you. Can we do lunch tomorrow?_

_I miss you too babe; I'm not sure this case… you know._

_Olivia, I haven't seen you in over a week._

_I know. I'm sorry_

_Are you really?_

_What does that mean?_

_Nothing. Stay safe and call me tomorrow._

No response. "Really Olivia?" She said to the room as she waited for a reply to come.

"Mommy?"

"Hey Amy G, I thought I tucked you in to bed."

"You did, but I don't feel very good."

Alex got up from the computer chair and walked over to her daughter; leaning down to kiss her forehead, Alex was surprise to find that her little one appeared to be running a fever.

"What's wrong?"

"My nose is really stuffy, and I have a really bad headache."

Alex picked up Amy, and walked her back into her bedroom. She placed her daughter on the bed while she went to find the thermometer and some Motrin. When she returned she found her little girl curled up in a ball with her arms wrapped around Alex's pillow.

"Ok, baby girl, sit up so I can take your temperature."

Amy did as Alex put the thermometer in her ear.

"99.9, well, that's not good." She put the thermometer on the night stand before pouring the Motrin into the measuring cup. "Here, Amy G, take this."

The miniature blonde swallowed before making a face, while the medicine wasn't the worst in the world, it also wasn't the best. Sticking her tongue out, she shut her eyes willing the taste to fade out of her mouth.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Yes, baby. Let me get ready for bed, why don't you get under the covers."

Alex took her pajamas into the bathroom and she went about her nightly routine. She started making a mental check list of things she had to do in the next day:

-Call mom to ask if she can come take Amy.

-Call Jason and let him know Amy is sick.

-Call the school to let them know Amy is sick.

-Get to court before 10 to avoid contempt charges.

-Get home before 4 so that her mom can get to Wednesday night choir practice.

-Talk to Olivia

The blonde needed to talk with the detective; she needed to understand why Olivia couldn't take five minutes to see her during the day. And she didn't get why every time she went to the squad room over the last week Olivia was out. At first, she attributed it to bad luck, but as a few days turned into a week, she was starting to believe it was something more. Sunday had been great, why in the world was Olivia avoiding her now?

Alex walked back into her room to find her daughter snuggled under the covers. Smiling at her child, she turned down the covers before she too climbed into bed pulling her daughter close. Amy buried herself into her mother as much as possible, and it was the moments like this that Alex wished she and Jason had been able to make it work. She loved cuddling her daughter, but she always wished in these moments there was someone else to hold onto so she didn't have to be so strong all the time. Olivia had allowed her to waver and still didn't judge her, and maybe she had overestimated the brunette. Alex now found herself thinking about at time in which the blonde had been the detective's rock. And her mind was blank. She couldn't recall one time in which she let Olivia lean on her in her time of need. Alex felt guilty, this relationship was starting to appear it was all about her. She didn't tell Olivia about her daughter to protect herself. She begged Olivia to stay to talk so Alex could clear her conscience. It was Alex who didn't want Olivia to leave after she finally came clean, and Olivia came over the next day just so the blonde would know that her friend wasn't running away. Everything about their relationship was about Alex, and maybe that's why Olivia was avoiding her.

Alex looked down at her daughter, and saw that she was asleep. Very carefully she extricated herself from the bed, and headed back into her office.

Olivia had replied to her last instant message:

_We caught a break. Fin and Stabler are going to check it out. Cragen sent me home for the night. I will give you call once we close this case._

Great, Alex thought, who knows when she will see Olivia. Maybe she should go by the squad room after court in the morning. She needed to talk to Olivia in person, and the detective was not likely to blow her off if she was standing right in front of her at the 1-6, because then she would have to explain herself to everyone. Alex walked back into her room, and crawled back into bed with her daughter. Amelia turned to snuggle into her mother's embrace. Eventually, Alex drifted off to sleep still trying to figure out how to get her relationship back on track.

* * *

Olivia walked into her apartment, dead on her feet. This case was really taking it out of her. Four African-American girls raped and murdered. On top of that the media is running amuck accusing the department of limiting resources, and not caring. Then Fin's connection and frustration with the case. Then to top all of it off, she hadn't seen Alex, and the blonde wasn't being very understanding. Olivia barely had the energy to brush her teeth and throw a tank top and shorts on before collapsing into her bed. She knew that she was avoiding the blonde, but it wasn't that she wanted to not see Alex. It was just that she was busy with work, and feeling a little smothered by the attorney's needy tendencies. And while their day together last Sunday was much better than their encounter Saturday, Olivia was still hurt by all the information she had learned that weekend. As Olivia drifted off into unconsciousness, she decided that as soon as this case was over she would make time for her girlfriend, and they could talk again.

* * *

The next day in court, Alex was annoyed. The defense was trying to claim that the defendant was mentally incompetent and at Alex's bequest had agreed to a psych exam with the state's psychistrist. Alex knew this was a Hail Mary, and now she was wishing she had agreed to work out a plea. However, this is where they were now, and she just had to except it. As she was walking out of the Court room she had the misfortune of running into Elizabeth Donnelly, and while Alex held nothing personal against her boss, she was not in the mood to tango. Amelia had woken up twice to throw up and the second time she couldn't get back to sleep. Since Alex hadn't gotten to bed until nearly 1 in the morning anyway, she actually slept for less than two hours. And because she kept turning her relationship with Olivia over in her mind, the little sleep she did get was fitful.

"Alex?"

"Hey." She responded as she left out the breath she had apparently been holding in.

"You look horrible."

"It's nice to see you too."

"Sorry, I was going to ask you about a case, but I think it would be better for you to head home and get some rest. Do you have court this afternoon?"

"No, I was just going to go by the precinct, and then head home anyway."

"Alex, take care of yourself."

"Bye, Liz." Alex said as the elevator arrived and she stepped in. She finally made it to the parking garage and into her car. She was exhausted, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep well until she was able to talk to Olivia.

* * *

When she arrived at the 1-6 she climbed out of her car, and was about to walk up the steps when Olivia was coming out of the building.

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I came by to talk to you. Where are you going?"

"Home, we collared the son of a bitch, and Captain sent us all home."

"Oh, would you like a ride?"

"Uh, yeah."

Alex smiled as she turned and headed back to her car; Olivia followed close behind. Both women climbed into the car and looked at each other. The detective reach up and pulled Alex close to her smashing her lips against the blondes. She swiped her tongue across Alex's bottom lip, and her girlfriend moaned as she opened her mouth granting the brunette access. The kiss was passionate as the two tongues dueled in each other's mouths. When air became necessary, Olivia pulled away slightly leaning against the attorney's forehead.

"Alex, I missed you so much."

"I know Liv; I missed you too…. And I'm sorry for not being more understanding. I know that your job requires a lot, and your dedication to that job is one of your many very attractive attributes."

Olivia smiled at the attorney's word choice. Relieved to hear Alex admit that she needed to be more understanding. That was a conversation Olivia really rather not have to have with the blonde.

"It's ok. I forgive you."

Alex smiled before turning away from the detective and starting the engine. For most of the ride to Olivia's apartment to two sat in comfortable silence. As they turned down the detective's street Alex asked, "So this week Amelia is with me, but maybe on Saturday around lunch time we could get together?"

"I would love to, but I'm catching this weekend."

"Oh… can I come over after I drop my daughter off and be with you until you have to leave?"

Olivia looked over at her companion realizing that Alex needed her.

"Yeah, I would like that. And how about we go to lunch tomorrow?"

"Can I call you in the morning and confirm?"

Olivia looked puzzled.

"Amy is sick, and I'm not sure what tomorrow will look like for me because I don't have court. Depending on how she's feeling, I might be the one she traps at home. She loves my mom, but when she gets really sick she's all about me. At least that is how she has been. It has been a while since she been sick at all."

"Of course Alex. Just give me a call, and please, let me know if you or she needs anything."

"Thanks Liv." She leaned over to place another kiss on the detective's lips. The two engaged in another heated kiss, before Olivia broke away gasping for air.

"Wow," The brunette said in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, wow."

"See you soon?" Alex asked as her girlfriend climbed out of the car.

"You bet." Olivia said before shutting the door and heading up to her apartment for some much needed rest and relaxation.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay. Also, I am not really good at the smut scene, but maybe one day... Enjoy.**

Everything was going well. It was time for this to happen. Alex was ready for it to happen. She just didn't anticipate how hard it would be to talk to Jason about introducing their daughter to her lover. To say she was nervous would be the understatement of the year. Her palms were sweating and her heart felt as if it were going to blow out of her chest. She was trying to take deep calming breaths but kept finding herself close to hyperventilating. She went to take another sip of water.

"Hey,"

Revealing her nerves, Alex let her glass slip, and the cup hit the table with a thud before falling over and spilling its contents on the floor next to the booth. Great, just great. What a perfect way to start out this conversation.

"Whoa, what the heck, Alex?"

"Jason, hi."

A waitress rushed over to clean up the spill.

"I'm so sorry."

"Not a problem. We'll just get this clean up." The bubbly twenty something said as she picked up the glass and wiped down the table before retreating from the flustered blonde still just sitting in her seat.

Jason sat down across from the mother of his child, and just stared at her trying to find the right words to say. She looked overwhelmed the same way she would look before an exam in Constitutional Law. She fidgeted, and kept tucking her hair behind her ears; the woman only played with her hair when she was nervous. Something he had learn during the nine months of pregnancy. And her behavior was giving him every reason to panic.

"Alex, what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing is causing you to be nervous and drop your water glass?"

"Ok, so I wanted to talk to you."

Just then the waitress walked back up, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Uh, yes, I'll take coke, please." Jason said before looking to Alex.

"Just another water please."

"Are you going to order any appetizers?"

"No, I don't think so." Jason said still looking at the woman sitting across the table from him.

"Ok, I will be right back with your order."

As soon as the young woman was out of ear shot Alex opened her mouth to speak only to close it again to open it again and close it again. Finally she took a deep breath and made eye contact with Jason.

"Just tell me." Jason said employing her to spill it for her own sanity.

"I am ready for Amelia to meet Olivia."

"This time can we make sure that it is not while she has you pinned against a wall?"

Alex chuckled, "Really that's all you have to say?"

"Well, no. I have been seeing someone for about 6 months. Her name is Janice, and I would like to introduce her to Amelia."

"Jason, I didn't know you were dating."

"Well I'm not really sure what we're doing to be completely honest. But I really like her, and I would like to continue doing whatever the hell we are doing."

"That's great Jason. I'm really happy for you." She said as she looked away from the table scanning the room.

"So I might believe you if you could say that while looking at me."

Alex snapped her head back to the table looking a little indignant.

"What?"

"Don't what me."

"Jason, why wouldn't I be happy for you?"

"I don't know why wouldn't you be?"

"Are you kidding me?" She said starting to lose her composure, and their waitress appeared again.

"Are you ready to order?"

Breaking eye contact with the man sitting across the table from her, she directed her response to the young woman, "Yes, I would like the egg salad sandwich with a side of fruit."

"And for you sir?"

"I'll have the BLT with chips please."

"Ok, anything else?"

"No" Alex murmured.

"That's it." Jason replied.

"I'll get your order out as soon as possible."

"Jason, seriously what the hell does that statement mean?"

"I don't know Alex."

"Ok, look you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but Jason we used to talk to each other. And just because we are pursuing other relationships doesn't mean that ours has to change. We will always have a relationship and we will always have a child. And we are always going to do the right thing for our child. And after that one weekend of sharing that tiny apartment, we both decided that we needed to be happy and we wanted the other person to be happy so that our baby girl can grow up being that silly, witty, adorable, beautiful girl that she is."

"I know Alex."

"Ok then what if your problem?"

"Why don't you tell me? I'm not the one who looked away when trying to convince me that your happy for me."

"Ok, it's just I don't know. I know that I'm asking for your permission to introduce Olivia to Amy, but I guess part of me worries about other people being in her life. Nevermind it's selfish, and silly."

"Why do think I can't figure out what I'm doing with Janice?" He asked through a smile.

"Fair enough" Alex responded.

"Alex, you are my daughter's mother, and you will always be her mother. And I will always love you because of that fact alone."

"Jason, you really are an exceptional guy, and Janice is lucky to have you."

He laughed at her comment as the unconventional couple reach a new level of understanding. This was the first time either of them were going to be introducing a potential partner into their daughter's life. It was uncharted territory but they were still a team and somehow they would figure everything out together just like they had done for the past 5 years.

* * *

Alex opened the door to find Olivia standing there holding a bag of Chinese takeout. She looked exhausted, and the blonde pulled her lover through the door before taking the food from her hands and all but throwing it on the table sitting in the hallway. She pulled her Olivia to her wrapping on arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders.

Initially, the brunette resisted the blonde's embrace, and as soon as she felt her lover's arms snake around her body she melted, and finally she let it out not caring to damn the tears as she held onto the blue eyed woman as if her life depended on it. She allowed herself to be lead to the couch where the two women collapse as Alex comforted her olive skinned detective.

They stayed on the couch for close to an hour before Olivia stopped crying. When the brunette could compose herself enough, Alex finally spoke.

"Olivia, you are not Darrell Guan and you are not your father."

"Alex…"

"No, I want you to listen to me. Olivia, you are an amazing woman, an great detective, and an overall awesome human being. You're genes do not determine who you are supposed to be. I really believe that."

"Alex, I'm a cop, and my job requires me to be violent. I have to carry a gun and sometimes. I've had to beat people, hell I've shot a man…"

"None of that makes you a bad person, Olivia the only time you've ever acted violently was to protect yourself, your partner, or a civilian…"

"Doesn't matter. It was still violence." The brunette responded as she got up from the couch and walked over to the window to overlook the street below. "Food is getting cold you should eat."

"Olivia, don't." Alex said as she walked up to stand next to her lover. "Don't shut me out."

"What do you want me to say Alex?"

"I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to let me take care of you tonight." She pulled Olivia against her and was slightly disappointed when she remained folded in on herself, but Alex just tighten her grip of the detective.

The two women stood in silence. The blonde felt Olivia shake against her and realized that she was crying again. She turned the brunette in her arms and embraced her as the tears silently rolled down both women's cheeks. The stayed like that for what felt like forever. Finally Olivia pulled back to look at Alex. The two stared into each other's eyes trying to read into the depths of the other's soul. All Olivia found was compassion and love and acceptance and warmth, and she finally started to feel better.

"Alex, I love you too."

As the tears welled up in her again, Alex pulled the brunette flush against her body burying her head against her shoulder. Olivia wrapped on arm around the attorney's waist and the other around her shoulder and pressed a kiss against the other woman's temple before nussling into the blonde's neck.

"I love you too, so much."

After standing in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity for the third time that night, Alex pulled out of the hug and grabbed Olivia's hand to lead her back to her bedroom. This was not the first time the two women had consummated their relationship, but this was the first time that Olivia felt like she was a raw bundle of nerves. Alex knew everything about her, and now she knew that Olivia loved her, which makes this time all the more special.

* * *

The two women lay in a mass of tangled limbs and sheets; the sweat still clinging to their skin; the light from the street slightly illuminating the room. Alex pressed kisses to her lover's shoulder and she pulled the woman closer against her. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you too."

The let the sounds of the city fill the room as the two women continued to caress each other and love on each other. Alex broke the mood when she stated, "I'm hungry."

"Mhh, well we never ate dinner."

"Stay here." Alex said as she got up and disappeared into the hall way. Olivia continue to lay in bed waiting for her lover to get back feeling as if she was still riding the ultimately high.

Alex returned with their take out which she had heated up in the microwave. She handed Olivia two of the boxes she was carrying and a pair of chopsticks before climbing back in bed and settling against the head board sitting close enough to Olivia to share.

"Thank you." Olivia said as she began to open the boxes, arranging the food so that both women could pick at the food.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something important." Alex said as she reached into the box that Olivia was holding.

"Ok…"

"I want you to meet Amelia…. Only maybe this time it won't be in a hallway as you hold my arm behind my back."

Olivia didn't laugh. In fact she put the box she was holding on to the night stand as she turned to face Alex.

"I'm sorry Olivia. I didn't mean to…"

"You really want me to meet your daughter?"

"Yes, yes I do. I want you to be around for a long time, and that means you being around my daughter."

"What about Jason?"

"I already talked to him, and we are on the same page about this."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yes, Alex I would love to meet your daughter."

Alex leaned over and kissed the detective. The two women were on their way to a functional relationship and neither could be happier.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry for the delay. I am going to aim to update once a week from now on. If all goes according to plan you will see another chapter tomorrow night. Thanks for reading!**

The older woman inserted the key into the door as her granddaughter followed behind her. As she pushed the apartment door open the young blonde rushed past her heading to her room with her backpack and duffle bag in tow. The elderly blue eyed blonde smiled as she acted to keep the eggs from hitting the hardwood floors in the entry way.

"Amelia, get changed and then you need to start on your homework."

"Gammy, I want to help you cook." The child shouted back from her bedroom.

"If you finish your homework and I'm still cooking you can, but baby, you have practice tonight for three hours and you need to eat before and get all your homework done."

As Elizabeth Cabot put the groceries on the counter, Amelia emerged from her bedroom her backpack dragging behind her.

"Amelia, pick your bag off the floor, please."

Gathering the bag that nearly was nearly the same size as the carrier in her arms, Amelia strolled slowly to the kitchen table. Heaving her bag onto the table the small blonde climbed onto a chair and began to empty its contents.

"Who's taking me to the rink?"

"Your mother is supposed to join us for dinner and take you to practice."

"Gammy, why don't my parents live together?"

That halted the older woman's movements about the kitchen as she placed all of the groceries in their proper location. She looked at her granddaughter who continued to take all of the contents of her bag out and spread them on the table so that she could see everything in her bag.

"Why do you ask sweets?"

"Today, at school, we talked about families everybody said that they live in one house with their mommy and their daddy and some people had baby brothers and sisters. Except for Thomas, he has a mommy and step dad and his daddy, but mostly he stays with his mommy. And a step dad is a man that marries your mom but is not your daddy."

"What did you say about your family?"

"I have a mommy and a daddy but they don't live together and they aren't married. And sometimes I stay with my Gammy, but mostly just at one of my two houses. Then Jackie said my parents got a divorce and that is why they don't live together. Did they get a divorce Gammy?"

Realizing that this was a conversation that Alex and Jason needed to have with their daughter, Elizabeth responding, "No Amelia, your parents have never been married. And you can only get a divorce if two people are married and decide they no longer want to be married. Baby, I want you to start your homework and then ask your mommy these questions. Okay?"

"Yea M'am."

Amelia with her entire back pack on the table found her homework folder and pulled out her two worksheets. She had to trace the letter V and then write it on her own, and she had to practice counting. As she searched for a pencil the elder blonde gathered the ingredients she needed to make hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. While she herself could live without this particular meal it had become her granddaughter's favorite, and she had been refusing to make it for over two weeks and finally caved when Amelia asked for it again today. And because everyone needs something green she was throwing in some peas; at least something that child consumed tonight would be relatively healthy.

The door opened and in walked Alexandra Cabot, about 20 minute earlier than her mother had been expecting her. Amelia looked up from her almost completed math homework and her face broke into a wide grin. "Mommy, your home!" She exclaimed before ditching the worksheet to jump into her mother's embrace.

"Hi Amy G. I missed you so much today."

"Me too mommy." The young blonde said before kissing her mother.

Alex put her daughter down and the two exchanged glances.

"Are you done with your homework?"

"Almost mommy."

"Ok, go and finish so we can eat dinner and get to practice."

"Yes m'am, and mommy guess what!"

"What?"

"Gammy is making macaroni and hotdogs for dinner!"

Alex looked at her mother standing next to the stove waiting for the water to boil so she could add the hotdogs, "Really?"

"We are also having peas, because everyone needs a little green."

The attorney smiled at her mother, and while they were vastly different in so many ways and her teenage years could have been classified as World War III, she knew that she had hit the mommy jackpot and would eternally be grateful for the elder blondes continued support.

"And dinner will be ready momentarily; so, I think you should go get changed while Amelia finishes up her homework."

Alex smirked at her mother as she headed towards her bedroom. She was exhausted and even though she wanted to take Amy to practice she was glad that she wasn't responsible for dinner as well. As she stripped off her suit tossing it into the dry cleaning laundry hamper, she began to steel herself for a conversation she felt sure she didn't want to have. She needed to tell her mother about Olivia. While her mother was well aware of her sexuality, she had never met any of Alex's dating partners (because Alex wouldn't label them girlfirends) except for her best friend turned lover from high school. And then she didn't know how supportive she would be of bringing someone into Amelia's life, which meant she also needed to inform her of Jason's new love interest. Thankfully, the conversation couldn't last long tonight because Amy had to be at practice, but that didn't mean that the conversation would end tonight either. And then there was the fact that Alex was ready for Olivia to meet Amy, but not quite sure she wanted to introduce the detective to her mother. With thoughts filing through her head, Alex got dressed in jeans and a red sweater. She pulled her hair into a pony tail and made her way back to the kitchen.

"Alex would you please get the plates out."

Kissing her daughter's head she made her way over to the cabinet to take down the dishes and handed them to her mother to plate.

"Mommy, I'm done!" Her pride and joy shouted from only ten feet away.

"Ok, mommy will check it. Amy G can you please go get changed for practice."

"Ok." The tiny blonde said before hoping down from the table and nearly sprinting towards her room.

Deciding not to stall any longer, Alex blurted out "Jason, is seeing someone and he is going to introduce her to Amelia."

Elizabeth stopped what she was doing to stare at her daughter. Alex held her breath waiting for a response.

"How do you feel about that?"

"So, I am also seeing someone, and I want for her to meet Amy too."

"Oh, I see…"

Not daring to move or speak, Alex waited for her mother's reaction, feeling in her bones, that this was going to be quite the discussion.

"And who is this person?"

"Her name is Olivia."

"The detective you work with?" The elder Cabot questioned astonished at her daughter's disregard for social norms. One should never sleep with one that she must see from 9-5.

"Yes…"

"Alex, what are you doing?"

"Mom, not now. I just wanted to give you a heads up before you hear it from a certain chatty five year old. But she will be back in her in a few minutes, and I haven't told her yet. So for now can we please drop it?"

The mother of three grown children, and the wife of a dedicated politician, stared at her middle child boring into the attorney's very being. Alex knew that when they two sat down to actually have this conversation she was going to get more than her mother's opinion on Olivia meeting Amelia. At part of her was terrified but an even bigger part of her knew that Olivia was who she was meant to be with; at least for the time being. She also knew that her mother would come around to support her daughter even if she didn't agree with the decisions she was making for her life at the moment. But the elder blonde had learned when Alex had given birth nearly six years ago that your children's successes, failures, and curve balls, were not a reflection of one's parenting.

Before Elizabeth could respond, the bundle of energy returned to the kitchen climbing up to sit at the bar for dinner. Her grandmother presented her with a plate of her favorite dinner before fixing one for Alex.

"Thank you Grammy! This is the best day ever!"

"You are welcome sweets." She responded as she handed Alex a plate.

"Thanks mom, for everything." And in an attempt to make a peace offering at least for now, she kissed her mother's cheek, before heading around the counter to sit next to her daughter. The eldest blonde fixed herself a plate before leaning back against the island. As the youngest Cabot lady chatted about her day mother and daughter continued to exchange glances. Eventually, Elizabeth's eyes soften, and Alex offered her a grateful smile. Even if the war was still to come, this battle was over.

"Ok, little one, it's time for you and mommy to head out, go and get your stuff." Elizabeth said as the three had cleared their plates. Amelia jumped from her seat, scaring both women and trotted off to get her bag.

"Alex, the conversation is not over."

"I know mom."

"Great, than I expect to see you this weekend to continue it."

"I can't this weekend. I have Amy and Olivia is not on call."

"Alex, I think we should talk about this first."

"I know you do mom, but I have already made the arrangements."

The eldest Cabot opened her mouth to respond when little ears reentered the room.

"Have fun at practice, sweets." She said kissing her granddaughter's head. "Go, I will clean up so you are not late.

"Thank you mom." Alex said before taking her daughter's hand and leading her out of the apartment.

* * *

About two hours later and a little after 8, Alex and Amelia walked back in to the apartment to find the kitchen spotless, and the table still covered in Amy's school work.

"Ok, Amy G, I need you to go get a shower, while I check your homework. Then together we are going to get your school stuff back into your back pack."

The five year old didn't responded but headed towards the bathroom. Practice had been good, but Alex also knew that her daughter was ready to crawl into bed. After checking her daughter's homework, which took all of ten minutes, Alex went to change into her own pajamas. When she emerged from her bedroom about 5 minutes later she found her mini me slowing getting her stuff into her bag, and ready for the next day.

"You tired Amy G?"

"Yes mommy."

"You worked hard at practice."

With all of Amelia's school supplies finally in her bag, the two blondes headed towards the young girl's bedroom. Alex was a little surprised when her daughter climbed straight into bed. Normally, no matter how tired Amy was she still wanted Alex to rock her for just a little bit as she read to her.

"Amy G, do you want mommy to rock you?"

"No, too sleepy."

Disappointed, Alex laid pulled the covers over her child and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. "Do you want a story?"

"No." She said a little to confidently for her mother's liking.

"Ok, can mommy lay with you for a little bit?"

The child nodded as she turned towards the wall away from the attorney allowing Alex to lay behind her and pull her close.

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"Are you and Daddy divorced?"

Alex sat up just a little completely shocked by the girl's question. "No, why?"

"Because you don't live together."

"Baby, Daddy and I never got married, so we can't be divorced."

"That's what Gammy said." Alex waited a second to see if Amelia would explain any further. When her child didn't say anything, Alex questioned "Why did you ask?"

"We talked about families today at school."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I said that I have a mommy and a daddy and they don't live together. And Jackie said the only way that mommies and daddies don't live together is if they get a divorce."

Encouraging her daughter to roll over to face her Alex rested her head on her arm, "Amy G, your daddy and I love you very very much, and you are the best thing that we ever did. Ok?" Her daughter nodded. "But, we didn't love each other like husband and wife. And we knew that if we got married that we would fight all the time and no one would be happy, so we decided that we would live apart. That way we could all three be happy. And baby I do love your daddy; he is my best friend, and I love him because he gave me the greatest present anybody could ever get."

"What was it?"

"You."

Amy broke into a wide smile before reaching up to hug her mother. After the two embraced for a long time, Amy snuggled down into her mother's body, which acted as a cocoon for her young daughter.

"Mommy?"

"Hm?"

"Are you going to marry someone else who will be my step dad."

Alex smiled, and thought carefully about how to proceed.

"No, baby you won't have a step dad. Mommy doesn't want to marry a man ever. See some women like men and some women like other women. Mommy likes other women. So if I ever decide to get married, you will have a step mom."

"Ok." Amy whispered as sleep was creeping in. She would like having a step mom more anyway.

Alex contemplated bring up Olivia but decided that after their conversation this evening and the impending sleep about to consume her child, that maybe she and Jason should talk to Amelia together. Jason was going to pick her up from dance class tomorrow, and they could have this discussion over dinner. As Alex ran her fingers through her daughter's hair she felt the tiny blonde's breathing even out. She waited for a few more minutes just to be sure she was asleep before heading out of her room and to her own bed for the night.

* * *

**If anyone has feedback on the writing itself I would love to hear it! I will be reposting in the next week to fix all the grammatical and spelling mistakes. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: To clarify, Alex's daughter's name is Amelia Grace. The narrator will refer to her as Amelia and Amy interchangeably. Alex calls her daughter Amy G, and Jason calls her June Bug (we haven't seen this too much yet but we will in the next chapter). Olivia typically refers to her as Amy, and Elizabeth Cabot will call her Amelia if not using a term of endearment when directly addressing the child. Other characters will probably have other nicknames for her as well (the waitress in chapter 2 called her doodle). Hope that helps. Enjoy!**

Alex lay on her back staring at the ceiling. She had gotten in to bed with the intention of falling asleep at 10:30. She turned her head to see the alarm clock next to her bed noting that the time was now 3:57 am. She had be lying in bed for nearly 5 and a half hours, and yet no sleep had come. She turned over to her side and curled into a ball, hoping the new position would invite the sandman to take her to dream land.

The next thing she knew a little body was trying to get underneath the covers. Smiling to herself, Alex adjusted herself so that her daughter could lay down with her. Looking over her shoulder she noted that the time was now 4:40 am, which was a little later than usual, but Alex was glad that her baby still needed her. Snuggling back down both blondes were gone in a matter of minutes.

* * *

The alarm rang way too early the next morning, and Alex threw her hand behind her to silence the offending noise. Amy stretched before she settled back into her mother's embrace. The two lay in silence enjoying the calmness of morning before the beeping started again singling the time to get out of bed. When the alarm went off for the second time that morning, Alex rolled over to turn off the alarm and turn on the radio. Bringing the volume down considerably so that the music could just barely be heard, the attorney glanced down to see her daughter gazing back up at her.

"Good morning, Amy G."

"Morning mommy."

Another minute passed between mother and daughter.

"It's time to get up and get dressed for the day."

"Ok." Amy said as she wrapped her arms around her mother's waist.

Alex pulled her daughter close enjoying the smell of her shampoo. "Alright, baby up and at 'em"

The two rolled out of bed and Amelia padded off to her room to get into her uniform. Alex milled about her room picking out a suit, getting things together, making her bed when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alex. I have a big favor to ask of you."

Taking deep breathe, Alex replied, "Ok Jason. What is it?"

"I had an unexpected turn of events a work. I can't take Amelia to dance today, but I can pick her up. Could you or your mom drop her off?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thanks Alex, and I'm so sorry for the inconvenience."

"Don't worry about it. Hey Jason?"

"Yeah?"

"When you pick her up can the three of us get dinner?"

"Um, yeah I guess. Why?"

"We need to talk to her together about our family."

"What do you mean, Alex?"

"Yesterday, at school they talked about families, and some girl told her that if we don't live together then we must be divorced…"

"What?" Jason interrupted.

"Don't worry I already explained to her that we have never been married, and that we are no divorced and that we love her and that we love each other just not as husband and wife."

"Ok…"

"But she asked if she was ever going to have a step-dad, and I explained that I like women. So one day, if I get married she would have a step-mom, and then she fell asleep. I think that instead of telling her separately that we are dating, that we should have this conversation as a family, because Jason it is very important to me that Amy feels like she has a family that loves her and cares about her even if it isn't like everyone elses."

Silence.

"Jason?"

More silence…

"Yeah, ok we can talk to her together."

"Tonight?"

"Yes tonight."

"Thank you."

"Alex you don't have to thank me, but you're welcome."

Alex smirked before responding, "Ok, I will see you tonight."

"Yeah, and Alex?"

"What?"

"I love you too."

Smiling Alex said, "Bye Jason."

"Bye."

As she was hanging up the phone, Amelia walked back into her mother's room.

"Ok mommy. I'm dressed. Can I have a braid today?"

"Yes, baby. Come sit."

Amelia crawled onto the bed and sat in front of her mother crossed legged and held her head up so her mother could braid her long blonde locks.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Alex and Amelia walked out of their apartment and got into the car.

"So Amy G, today you have dance after school and Gammy is going to take you and Daddy will pick you up. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Then Daddy, you, and I are going to have dinner together."

"Am I in trouble?"

"What? No, you're not in trouble."

"Then why are we having dinner together?"

Making a mental note to have dinner as a family more often, Alex responded, "Because we have some things that we want to talk with you about."

"Ok," Amelia said as they pulled up in front of her school. Unbuckling her seatbelt, Amelia leaned through the front seats to give her mother a kiss, "Bye mommy. I love you."

"I love you too, Amy G. Be good and study hard."

As her daughter climbed out of the back seat, Alex waited until she saw her enter the front doors before pulling out of the drop off lane. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed her mother's number.

"Good morning, sweets. Did you already drop off Amelia?"

"Morning mom, and yes I did. Mom, I know its Wednesday, and you have choir practice, but could you please take Amelia to dance today? Jason had an unexpected work think I am in court. I will be out by 5, but I can't promise to be done any earlier. You don't have to pick her up; Jason can do that."

"Yeah, I will get her and get her to class."

"Thanks mom."

"How was practice last night?"

"It was good. Thank you for cleaning up."

"No problem sweets. Did Amelia ask you about divorce?"

"Yes, she did. Jason and I are going to talk to her when he picks her up today."

"Well that's good."

"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Olivia sooner."

"Alex, I love you, and you know that I want you to be happy, but do you think you should be dating a coworker?"

"Probably not."

"Probably not?" …. "But you are?"

"Yes, I am."

"Have you disclosed?"

"No."

"Alex you work for New York City. Olivia works for New York City. You two put people who have done horrible things in jail. If you don't disclose and someone else finds out all of those people could end up back on the streets to hurt more people."

"I know mom, but it's not like I talk about my personal life at work. I haven't even told my boss about Amy G."

"Look Alexandra, you need to tell your boss about Olivia, and while you're at it you should tell her about Jason and Amelia as well. You have wanted to be a prosecutor all your life, and I will not watch you throw it away over one stupid decision."

"Ok mom, I just got to work." She said as she pulled into the parking spot. "I have to go."

"Alexandra, do not hang up on me."

"What mom?"

"Promise me you will disclose."

"I'll think about it."

"No Alex you won't. You will disclose, or I will do it for you."

"Mom!"

"Do not 'mom' me. Tell me you will disclose."

"Ok fine. But I have to talk to Olivia about it. I will tell my boss on Monday."

Realizing she won, the elder Cabot replied, "First thing Monday morning, you will talk to your boss."

"Yes, m'am. Now, mom I have to go."

"I love you sweets."

"I love you too mom." Hanging up the phone Alex headed into the building gearing up for what was sure to be an exhausting day.

* * *

When the court went in to recess for lunch, Alex was relieved to see that Olivia had waited for her outside of the courtroom when she finished giving her testimony.

"Hey counselor. Would you care to grab a bite?"

"Food sounds fantastic right about now."

"Come on I figured we could get a sandwich from the deli across the street and then head up to your office."

"Sounds perfect." Alex said, and while she desperately wanted to melt into her lovers arms, she decided she could wait the 15 minutes it would take to get lunch and get back into her office.

When Alex walked passed her secretary she informed her that she was back for lunch and to continue to take messages for all calls. Locking her door as she and Olivia entered her office, discarding the food on the small coffee table, Alex rushed into the detective's waiting arms.

"God, I've missed you."

Smiling Olivia wrapped her arms around the blonde and kissed her temple. "I've missed you too."

After a couple of minutes of just being the two women separated and sat down on the couch to eat lunch.

"So, how are you doing counselor?" Olivia asked teasingly.

"Well, I haven't seen my girlfriend alone in almost 5 days. I am not really sure I can win this case. My daughter is old enough to realize that her family is different from all of her friends. My mother knows about us, and has an opinion on it. Oh and I got less than three hours of sleep."

When Alex finished talking Olivia realized that she got more than she bargained for.

"Alex, baby, I'm so sorry. Look I don't need to meet Amy right now, and if it would help with your mother we can just continue to lay low…"

"No," Alex interrupted, "that won't help. My mother wants us to disclose. In fact she has given me until Monday to tell my boss, which means that you will need to tell Cragen."

Setting her sandwich down, Olivia leaned back into the couch. Seeing her lover's distress, Alex also sat her sandwich down and pulled the detective into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Liv. I know this is not ideal."

"No, it's not that. It's just I'm not so sure how Cragen will react to my sexual preferences. I mean I know we need to tell him. And Alex, I will tell him. It just wasn't a conversation I thought I would be having so soon."

"When did you think you would tell him?" Alex asked, no accusingly but genuinely curious as to where Olivia thought their relationship was and where she thought it was going.

"I guess I thought I would tell him after I met Amy and it became clearer that we would be together for a longer than just a few more months."

"Hey, you are meeting my daughter, but she will not dictate this relationship. She is important to me, and to be honest I have no idea how she is going to react to new people being in her life. But I do know that I love you, and I wouldn't be introducing you to her if I didn't want you to stick around for a very long time."

Olivia smiled and pulled the attorney into an embrace as she laid back encouraging her lover to lay on top of her. "People?"

"What?"

"You said you don't know how she will react to new people."

"Oh, Jason is also seeing someone."

"I see."

"Tonight the three of us are going to have dinner, and we are going to talk with her about what to expect."

A comfortable silence fell over the couple as the continued to cuddle on the couch.

"So," Olivia broke the quiet, "we are going to disclose."

"Yes, we are."

"Are you going to tell Donnelly about Amy?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Alex, I can't make that decision for you."

"You're not. I am asking for your opinion."

"I think that you probably need to talk to Jason about that."

"And I will, but as my girlfriend and as a coworker, I would like to hear your thoughts."

"I think that I, and the entire squad, would die for your daughter."

Alex lifted away from her lover to press her lips against the detectives. After a passionate kiss, the two sat back up and finished their sandwiches and talk about nothing in particular. As the pair left the office, the exchanged all-knowing glances both realizing that this time next week they would not need to hide the fact that they were dating anymore.


End file.
